The hits keep coming

I'm all talk. I spend 90 percent of my day talking and 10 percent taking action. I think it's time to reverse that. These past two weeks have been the two most annoying weeks of my life. Now that I'm 24 I thought I would past the high school problems, but they followed me. Living in my hometown has been the hardest part about graduating from college. I have no townie love left in me. I tried.

It's been two years in the same place and I saw a glimpse of my future and I didn't really care for it. I will be a success someday. Not everyone can say that. By this time next year, I will be in a completely new place. That's more exciting news then I've had in awhile.

Torchured artist period over

I know it's very cliche that all writers have a high alcohol consumption rate. But they do. I haven't written in days, weeks, or months because of what I like to call "writers block." It's actually because I was scared. I used that fear to knock back whiskey sodas in a local black hole of a bar. Don't get me wrong it's a great bar, the kind of bar that beckons you to make mistakes that force you to discover who you are and knock back way too many whiskey sodas. I had a relationship with this bar for the past two months. We just broke up. I thought it would get the creative juices flowing. What better place to find stories about people? This was the wrong thing to do. No matter what anyone tells you, the only stories you will find in a black hole bar will be about heartache. But I did find a great idea for a novel. My goal is to publish a book before I die. I'm starting the first chapter now and I'm excited.

Fear and I? We are besties

I don't know why I censor my writing. I used to be afraid that someone "Googling" me would find it and judge it. Or, my blog would one day hinder my job search. Both of those scenarios could happen. It's time to stop being afraid. Fear and judgment is a part of writing, you have to deal with it. I just went back and read my old postings and along with sensing the fear in my writing, I also saw failure.

I made a lot of promises to myself this year and I haven't kept them. It's time I listened to myself. By this time next year I want: to find a new job and try living on my own. I will miss people and my family, but I never have been so determined. It's time for the censorship to end.

Busy as a Bee

Damn you March, slow down. March is my birthday month, filled to the brim with events and work is more hectic than ever. This week in particular is a busy one. It's deadline week, so everyone is scrambling around to get everything done on time (which means the office is a wreck.) That's one good thing I've learned from work, how to deal with a frantic work environment. It's good I'm busy at work though, it gives me a nice distraction from other things in my life. I'm also going to NYC this weekend with my dad to see the play A Behanding in Spokane with two of my favorite actors, Sam Rockwell (future husband) and Christopher Walken. It's going to be an amazing birthday. We are talking the train into the city which is my favorite way to travel. I love seeing the historic sites around the Hudson River blurring past you and then you rush into Grand Central. Somehow it's like you instantly change with that train ride and you become a little tougher, a little smarter and just become a slightly different person. I love New York.

You've lost that loving feeling...

Here's the deal. I've given up coffee in exchange for tea in the morning. It's been two days. My head is ready to explode. Today I ran two miles and I may have looked like this:



Yeah, it's been an interesting week. I'm trying to stay focused at work while also building my professional portfolio. However, I've been wondering lately if I am actually helping people. My friend has a theory of trying to make one person smile a day, I hope I do that. This is mostly a I have to vent about nothing post, but it feels good.

Goal Tracking

Today, I had a taste of spring and I loved it. I did a little running today- outside! It was so beautiful this weekend and I love how weather can instantly improve your mood. I've been hibernating this winter and I'm more than ready to get out. I have two major goals for 2010. One is to establish myself as a freelance writer and the other is to run in a 5k. It's already March, so I better get cracking. I'll be tracking my progress through the blog. I hope I can do it.

I blame the Count

Today at work I learned that I do an awesome "Count" from Sesame Street impression. Let me explain, when you work in an office for eight hours your mind may start to wander. Then your computer screen starts to blur and you look for things to entertain yourself while typing away on the computer. This is what I do: I look for more work to finish and do impressions sometimes they are inside joke, like the Count or a more general movie star, I take requests from my fellow employees. In the midst of entertaining my co-workers with my amazing voice skills, I work extremely hard and get a lot done, but sometimes multitasking gets the better of me. Like today, for example, I made a mistake that could have been easily avoided. It's the week before deadline this week and my desk is stacked with folders, papers, and other writing materials. While looking for something on my desk, I accidentally mixed something up.

This has been the first mistake I've made at work in awhile. I know everyone makes mistakes, they teach this as soon as you enter elementary school right? I definitely remember hearing it all the time back then. However, sometimes I take my mistakes too hard and it throws my game off. I don't consider myself a perfectionist, but I do work hard at my job and when I make a mistake, it naturally bothers me. I know all I have to do is try and fix my mistake as best I can and that will be that. Then you just let it go. I think an important lesson I learned is to remember is always use humor and common sense and you should be able to solve most issues that may arise. And, always keep your desk as organized as you can. I will be testing this theory tomorrow. Everyday is a fresh start.